Help, He says im fat. I feel so sad.

Im not happy and have not been happy for some time, i don’t know if its pregnancy hormones or its just the reality of things, ive cried 3 times today.

Im 18wks pregnant and i just found out im having a girl today, i know my husband wants a boy because he always talks about having just 2 boys and even before we found out the sex of the baby he occasionally used ‘HE’ when referring to the baby. His mum also wants a boy.

We are 8 years together and 1 year +2months married, my weight has always been a topic (we both are overweight) ive tried so many times, lost weight but found it hard to keep it off, i was about going on another weightloss journey when i found out i was pregnant ( 78kg 5ft4”) i didnt start with a healthy weight and i hated myself for that.

Now im up 81 kg at 18wks, he has been acting weird like he isnt proud of me when we go out, i try to create excuses for him because he is working hard to make everything super conducive before the baby comes (financially) so maybe he is under pressure and thats making him act up. He doesnt rub my stomach /back or do those nice things one will expect to get being pregnant (this is our first baby) he hasnt connected with the baby and i beg him to go for ultrasound, i massage him and prepare his food always even when i feel weak. (He helped me during the first trimester when I was really sick and throwing up, but then he thought I was over reacting)

Now he just told me some people are noticing im gaining weight and my arms are getting huge, i feel so sad cos ive always been insecure about my weight, i just want to cry right now because i actually feel like a whale, i just thought he wouldn’t think of that now, he is supposed to be excited about the baby but he seems to be all about my weight, i need help, is there anything i can do to at least get to 74kg and maintain that weight (im mad at him and i feel so sad, i want to lose weight for myself, i need to feel good about myself because i don’t)

Im sorry this was long, i don’t have anyone to talk to and im so heartbroken.