I’m on a journey of regaining my self esteem back. Ever since I’ve been with me boyfriend of a year and a half , I’ve gained over 50 lbs. he’s the sweetest guy ever but I know he’d prefer me at my normal weight and vice versa. I’ve never let myself get this out of shape but somewhere down the line being with him I let myself go. Physically, other have rated me a 8.5-9 as far as looks. And I have a really nice personality. During the last year and a half I’ve been pregnant about 3 or 4 times and have gained weight between each one and had recurring early miscarriages. I’m tired of the cycle and ready to figure out a plan as far as birth control methods so that I can focus on weight loss , gym, finishing school, sticking with a job and my hormonal balance which has caused a lot of the rift in our relationship and I want to take care of all this and my own issues before we get married.

It’s gettin to the point where I’m making false assumptions and creating false evidence of my bf cheating or wanting other women and it’s all paranoid thoughts and I find myself overly sensitive day after day over nothing. The littlest things in life have been bothering me and I’m SICK OF IT! He’s a loyal man who works 60-70 hr weeks and comes home to me every night and treats me more than a girl could ask for.

Sick of being wrapped up in this victim mentality. I admit there is a comfort in us individuals with a victim mentality.

I’m just lookin for true support from women who genuinely want to help and not necessarily put me down here. I have no real friends since we’ve moved to a new state.

Thanks!