I don't wana be a Guinea pig with meds though

I think I need to be put on anti depressants and something got anxiety.. like a mixed pill. I can't handle my over thinking anymore and idk how to control it.. nothing helps. my mind is constantly going..😞😣😞😣 when I was younger I'd mask it with drugs. after I had my son I was put on depression pills. since last year I wasn't on any.. they ended up making me completely numb.. never cry nothing- was nice at first until sometimes..u just need to cry an I couldn't even do that..

I just hate the stage of being a Guinea pig to find a good med