*long rant* Am I overreacting or is my mom crossing a line?
Today is my due date. All day people have been blowing up my phone and social media asking if I’ve had the baby yet, and acting SHOCKED when I say no and that I don’t expect him until next week. I’m a first time mom, and I know that due dates are subjective, and first babies often come late. I haven’t had any progress with dilation or anything either, so I definitely knew I would go at least to my due date, but expected to go longer. I even posted something this morning basically saying “I’m still pregnant, but we will let everyone know once the baby is here and we’ve had time to snuggle him for a little bit!” And still everyone is up my butt about it. I get it, they’re excited, it’s whatever. I’m mostly just going to start ignoring it at this point because I don’t feel like having to constantly update everyone I’ve ever met on the status of my cervix or my baby being born. Apparently my MIL even went so far as to ask my husband if we’ve had the baby yet, and I was like wtf, does she think we were just going to have him and not tell her? That’s a little ridiculous. But oh well. Still trying to just brush it off because I understand she’s excited despite how uninvolved in our lives she is.
Fast forward to a little later, I mention to my mom that we’re not planning on telling everyone when I go into labor (only her because she’s here, and my in laws because it’s not fair that my parent is allowed to know, but not my husband’s parents) and that I don’t really want her to be the one to tell everyone. I want to wait until the baby is here, and then be able to break the news to my family members/friends on my own because well, it’s my baby. My husband will be the one to tell his family and friends, and then once we’re home and settled we will post an announcement for more extended friends and family that aren’t a regular part of our life. My mom responds with “well you don’t have to tell anyone anything, but if you think I’m not telling your grandmother and aunt when you’re in labor then you’re crazy because I’m going to do it anyway.” And reacted the same about telling all of her friends. I told her that I don’t want to be focused on everyone wanting updates, and that I prefer that we just wait until he’s born because that is what will make me most comfortable and keep my nerves at ease. She essentially gave the reaction of “I hear what you’re saying, but I’m going to ignore your wishes and do what I want anyway.”
I’m honestly pretty irked about it, especially because she is the only family member who is allowed to be here (we live out of state) for the birth, and first few weeks of baby’s life. And now I feel like she’s just going to make it about her (as she often does) and ignore my wishes/constantly shove her opinion down my throat.
Am I being an ass by being annoyed, or is it reasonable to expect to be the person who gets to announce the birth of your child to your family members?