It hurts so much. Every time. His family are the pricks yet I’m always to blame. We live with his family as required to in our culture. However, going in I wasn’t aware how hard it would be. When we were dating they seemed amazing, just like I was use to lifestyle etc.

Then we got married a couple years ago. And I just can’t take it. It’s all the little things build up. His dad is barely here yet husband treats him like father of the year. Always saying he will help with x y z and doesn’t come home for a week. But I’m to blame for saying anything against him.

Mother in law makes no secret her daughters will always be better than me and treats me just a stranger. Yet I’m to blame for taking it to heart.

Sister in law is married but comes over here and treats the place like her own - I.e decorating etc and says horrible things even though she knows I lost my baby but will keep going on how it’s amazing being a mum and she can’t wait to have more even though she knows I’m struggling.

And hubby - amazing most the time except times like today. Times when they treat me like an outsider and I can’t take it and I cry and he takes it out on me. Telling me to run back to my family if I’m not happy. Telling me I’m selfish for not bending even more backwards for them. I can’t take it.

I know I will never leave him but I can’t take it and feel so down and like I just can’t take living this nightmare anymore. I can’t cry anymore I just want this to end.