Hey guys,

Two months ago I had a miscarriage. Ever since I lost my baby I have been wanting to try again. In the beginning right after we lost the baby my husband promised me that we could start trying as soon as I move to where he lives currently ( he’s stationed in Norfolk and I live in Memphis). I am hoping to be there in a month and I am visiting him next week as a surprise for Valentine’s Day. I was hoping we could try again because I’ll be fertile the week of Valentine’s Day. Every time I try to talk to him about trying again or wanting another baby he says he doesn’t want to talk about it because it’s not relevant and he says he’s not ready for a baby yet. I respect his decision, but it’s just so hard to have heard him comfort me right after our loss by saying we could try again as soon as possible, then have him suddenly tell me he no longer wants a baby now. I want a family so bad, a baby more than anything. This urge has been so strong ever since I lost my baby, I just want a baby to hold in my arms. One that is mine and that I got the chance to carry to term. Im upset because he says he won’t even finish in me (which is how we’ve always had sex) but when we dirty talk he keeps talking about how bad he wants to finish inside me again. It just keeps messing with my mind. I just can’t stop thinking about how bad I want a baby with him. I’m worried that if I get pregnant I won’t want to tell him because I know he’ll be disappointed. What should I do? I’ve tried communicating my feelings to him many times, but it doesn’t sound like he’ll be changing his mind about a baby anytime soon. I just feel so hopeless.