So not sure where to start but me and my boyfriend/ex have had a rocky relationship for a good 4ish Years. We’ve broke up multiple times and got back together more than I can count.

Early days there was always some girl to worry about and all that jazz, and anytime we broke up or had these patches I’d sleep with someone and immediately make him aware of it and he’d hold it against me despite him also having slept with and chatted to multiple people throughout our relationship and our breaks. Over time I think he settled down but he has always insisted he hasn’t ever done anything wrong (even stuff I had read and/or witnessed first hand and even stuff his friends had told me).

So he really plays up my “wrong doings” and I take responsibility for them, I told him the stuff that happened anytime we were apart for full disclosure yet he completely holds it against me all the while never taking accountability for his indiscretions!! This in itself used to drive me up the wall! I would be happy to move on if I could receive closure for those things but he never gives it to me.

Other things is he is always always letting me down. Makes plans and never sticks to them, will control my plans without any intention of seeing me just so he has me ready and waiting to see him when it suits him. Then other times he will not see me for a week and completely make me feel unwanted and unloved and just when I’m at breaking point will do something nice. It got to the point where I don’t even invite him to family things because him not showing was so embarrassing for me.

So anyway we broke up after a big spat on New Years and we literally haven’t seen each other until today. This argument was because I finally met his friends (after 4 years) and they had absolutely no idea who I was!!??

During this time apart I keep myself busy and I feel good but when it gets to the evening I would message him and ask to see him without him even validating the fact I missed him. He acted like the time apart was my fault and that it was no big deal until that is he knew I was busy. Then he’d blow up my phone and accuse me of stuff I wasn’t even up to and essentially driving me mad even though we weren’t together.

Today I message him and he says come over and see me and I had at this point expected him not to ask that at all so I was happy to finally have him express that he wants to see me. I see him, we have sex and then he drops me home while he goes to work. He says he loves me and that he’ll see me later after work.

SO NATURALLY I ASSUMED I WOULD BE SEEING HIM YEAH? Wrong.

Comes to 5pm when he finishes and I had had a shower and was ready to get ready at a moments notice. Thought I’d let him get on with whatever because he likes his space. 8pm and I message like let me know when you’re ready to see me and I’ll get ready. He then says he’s going to go to the cinema with his brother and his girlfriend (who I am really friendly with).

I was kind of annoyed because 1) uh we had plans??? And 2) where is my invite???

So I leave him to the movie and I’m like at least I’m seeing him after it’s cool, stay chill. Gets to 11 and I message him. Am I okay to feel this way?