My husband and I came to our hometown to tell people we love in person that we’re expecting our second baby come August. My sister-in-law is pregnant too and due two weeks before me with her first. We’re supposed to see her and my father-in-law today to tell him the good news during breakfast. Our son was his first grandchild and I know he’ll be so happy and excited that he’ll be the grandfather of THREE by the time August comes around (our two and her one).

Last night, my sister-in-law sent me a message asking if her future mother-in-law could come too. The same future mother-in-law she is always complaining about being too obsessed with her pregnancy and future wedding (she and her partner just got engaged). I wanted one small moment to tell my husband’s father that we’re having another baby and she wanted to invite her future mother-in-law because she’s “pregnant, cranky and lazy” (and doesn’t want to do lunch or dinner with her instead). She basically wanted to kill two birds with one stone and didn’t think twice about how having a stranger, especially one deeply preoccupied with her pregnancy, would damper the moment.

If it were the other way around she’d have lost her mind.

We told her no, and that we’d like to meet her in the future, but that we were hoping to announce today and don’t really want any outside company.

I have bent over backwards keeping my excitement quiet for a long time. We’re 14w2d today and I am excited to tell family and friends. She told my husband she feels I’m “taking her pregnancy timeframe” from her and that she doesn’t want to share the spotlight (she’s due 2 weeks before me). She also said she was told I “wouldn’t steal her spotlight”. I told her I would be respectful of her announcement and baby shower but that didn’t mean we wouldn’t announce or we wouldn’t celebrate our second child.

Keep in mind we live 400 miles apart, won’t likely deliver in the same month, I’m not having a baby shower, and we won’t even visit until our baby is at least 2 months old. We’re not taking any attention from her.

I don’t even know how to feel anymore. My husband is trying to play the middle man and I am beyond hurt and angry that she expects me to just ignore my pregnancy and pretend it isn’t happening just because she’s pregnant.