Pregnant again and I'm feeling a lot


Hello, my first child was born March 2017 and has no fingers on his left hand. We didn't find out until he was born. They said it can be hard to see on the ultrasounds. Now I'm pregnant again and my doctor told me they're going to do extra ultrasounds and more follow ups because my first had a "birth defect". I feel so weird about that. I guess that's what it is but I just felt like again they're going to try to find something "wrong" with me and it makes me feel guilty. It also rubs me the wrong way that my son's limb difference is a "birth defect". So what if this baby would have a limb difference too, against all odds. It's not like they can do anything or that it would matter? I'm feeling so much right now. I'm upset and offended, even though I really want to be "reasonable" and part of me gets why they're doing it, but I just can't help but feeling they're treating this so badly. He's missing some fingers. It's not a big deal. It's not a heart problem or something that can actually be a health concern. I don't know how to handle it all. I just want to be happy.