Should a therapist be able to require homework and deny you an appointment if you say no?

Question

So I'm 16 so I cant go to therapy or get a therapist by myself. My mom controls the scheduling and gets me the therapist. I've been seein this therapist for a few months and shes been very pushing of me doing hw. But my last appointment (Jan 29th) she refused to schedule an appointment with me because I wouldn't pick a homework to do that she required. Now I can't go to therapy because my mom agrees with her. I dont know what to do. I dont see my psychiatrist till end of March.

Accepted Answer

Homework from therapy is literally the only way to change and help deal with your problems.
If you’re not willing to do your homework, your therapist is just wasting their time.
If you’re not going to put effort in to try and make yourself better, why should they put the effort in to try and help you?

Answer

Sounds like you aren’t interested in getting help if you don’t want to put in the work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

The homework is to help you. I doubt your therapist literally refused to see you, but if she did then you should find another. She probably meant that if you're not going to actively engage in her treatment then there's no point in seeing her anymore. If that's the type of therapy she specialises in, she probably doesn't want patients who aren't going to work with her. Like would you keep going back to the doctors to treat an illness if you weren't trying any of the treatments they prescribe you? Probably not, they would tell you to stop coming. 
Try and suggest a different sort of therapy that requires less work from you. Maybe talk therapy?

Answer

This doesn't sound like a productive therapy-client relationship. You should have a strong alliance with your therapist, it is one of the crucial pieces to recovery. I suggest finding a better therapist, maybe even one that specializes in adolescence.

Answer

I mean I definitely was not doing my homework at the beginning, but my therapist never threatened to not treat me if I didn’t. This therapist sounds very unprofessional. The whole point of therapy is to make it a safe space so that you’ll feel comfortable enough to want to learn to cope. Doing any of the exercises “assigned” can be hard at first. It literally took me a year to talk about my sexual assaults in detail. I would just go in with day to day issues because I wasn’t ready, but she didn’t push me to do anything or make me feel like I was wrong for not doing so. She called me out and suggested I go back on my meds and that was when it clicked for me and then I finally was ready to open up about some stuff. I would read over your contract and if it does not specifically state that you are required to do your homework, talk to your therapist or their superior about creating a more positive and supportive environment. Especially to a fucking 16 year old!! My parents never forced therapy on me, but I wish they had. I wasn’t ready until I was almost 19 and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but almost 4 years later, I’m making so much progress. Talk to your parents and maybe ask about finding a new therapist if this one continues to treat like this way.

Answer

Homework isn’t mandatory. It’s supposed to be suggested, sometimes it makes things worse but sometimes better, it depends on the person. The therapist should not withhold help just because you didn’t want to do homework. Homework usually isn’t apart of therapy classes, so like wtf

Answer

To everyone saying I dont wanna put in the work. Yes I do. It was my decision to be in therapy. I want to get better. I want to try. But recovery is fucking hard ok. And my brain doesn't work with required homework. Heavily suggested homework is different. But forcing me to do it will make me hate it and then I will think its not working. I need to do the homework on my choice, when Im ready.

Answer

Finding a therapist is like finding the right shoe. You have to try a few. And by home work do you mean, like exercises. Or thoughts put on paper. If she is trying a form of therapy that needs your participation, and your not participating then yeah. I get it. Why waste your guys time and your parents money. My daughter had one therapist that quit. He said he wasn’t clicking with her. That she wont open up or stop lying. He didn’t want to waste my time and money. I totally respect that. Another therapist had assignments for her. Like writing down her feelings the exact moments after she had break downs. Stuff like that. Or to come up with ideas to calm down while having break downs. Ect ect. You have to be a big part of your recovery.

Should a therapist be able to require homework and deny you an appointment if you say no?

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