I've had a really tough couple of years.

We've had six pets die and one go missing over the last two years.

I've gone through three different jobs because I was severely under appreciated and taken advantage of (my need to prove myself as a worthy and hardworking employee backfired more than once where I was left doing managerial work (instructed by the main bosses) while other people got the credit, and when opportunities for management came along I was overlooked. Why should they pay me a managers salary when I'd do the work on a receptionists salary).

My husband had an affair, which we have worked through with the help of lots of therapy but I still wonder what was wrong with me that he did it to begin with.

My uncle died last year due to complications of a genetic medical condition that I also have.

I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, after 18 months of TTC.

And last night my grandfather died. He was very young (only 60, he wasn't my grandfather by blood but after my dad's real dad died, my grandmother married a much much MUCH younger man). This man was incredible. He moved mountains for his family. He dropped out of school to look after his siblings when their parents died. Between him and my grandmother, they permanently fostered five children (of which two have also died, one by bike accident and one suspected suicide).

His work ethic was amazing, to try provide for his family. They were not well off, we did what we could to help and it pains me that he spent the last year of his life worrying about money.

It was coming, he was not a well man. Between working at the mines, working in construction sites and smoking, his lungs were shot. But it was a blood clot that killed him, last night while they were just watching TV.

I really thought 2019 was going to be a better year, but we're only two months in and there has already been two traumatic events.