Ugh I hate everyone right now and I don’t know what to do, I just want to go home I don’t wanna be here anymore, I’m just not happy, I try so hard to be happy and ok for everyone but I’m not I’m not, I’m breaking, and I can’t help but cry myself to Sleep almost every single god damn night! I can’t keep being fine, I just want someone to listen to me, I’m tired of being selfless and caring about others before me, I just want someone to talk to and understand what I’m going through I want to be put first for once, I want a shoulder to cry on, I need someone because I feel like I’m drowning, this life that I’ve made for myself is so suffocating and toxic, all I do is pretend and lie about everything! I can’t take any of this anymore, I just Wanna go home because I’m tired, but sleep can’t fix this tiredness I feel every minute of every single day, I’m not just physically tired but also mentally and emotionally and I wish I could stop feeling, but I don’t know how, and I try to distract Myself from this misery, this hell but at the end of the day I’m still here, I’m still miserable and I don’t know what to do, I feel so alone, I’ve tried to tell people but they don’t care, they don’t care about all the shit I’ve gone through, how I suffered from an eating disorder for 40 months and now every time I eat I feel like throwing up because I feel so fat and disgusting, they don’t care that growing up I was abandoned by my dad and my mom was a drug addict and after abandoning me my dad wants to come in to my life and act like he was always there, they don’t care about how I’m slowly dying inside, they don’t care about anything, because to them I’m not really sad, they’ll say I’m “looking for attention” which is right I am looking for attention, I’m looking for the attention of someone who will actually care about me, someone who can help me, and I know that people say you can only help yourself but I don’t know how, I don’t know how to fix the mess I am, it’s to much and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, I can’t do this alone.