MIL saint/opinionated

First off I love my well intentioned mother in law. She has a heart of gold. The woman volunteers for hospice and rescue animals. She volunteers at church every week. I just am hormonal and frankly not happy with our last few conversations. I am disabled I have a neurological condition in my lower half of my body top that off I am 25 weeks pregnant. So hormones and pain really do affect me.

A month ago she asked me if I am reading parenting or birthing books. I said no we are taking a 5 week class and I am also taking a breast feeding class. Her exact response is "oh your not reading any because you know it all already?" I had no idea that is how she thought of me. I did get my degree in family education and spent several years taking care of special needs children and infants, however I've never claimed to be completely prepared to have my own which is why I am taking classes.

My mother in law was also a former doula and she has asked me what the plan is for birth. Told her both my neurological doctor and obgyn are still coming up with a birth plan suited just for me. Should have it set in stone in about two weeks. They are trying to figure out if I should have just a normal epidural or a complete block. Due to the amount of nerve damage I have. She responded with why can't you do a water birth. I was oversharing I felt like as it was with how much nerve damage I have in my lady parts, legs, and feet. Told her I could not get an epidural in the water it's not sterile. She said she didn't understand why I needed one. I have had 2 spinal stimulators surgeries and 30+ nerve blocks. Cor crying out loud I have been in a nursing home to learn to walk again after being wheelchair bound (3 years ago.)I need an epidural for my own safety as well as baby's. I felt so hurt by her judgment. She asked why not just have a c-section. Had to explain to her that could happen but it is safer for baby and me to try vaginaly. I just felt like she 1) didn't understand, 2) was judging our decisions, 3) only believes in full natural birth.

She also then asked why I've had so many ultrasounds. Her exact words "is something wrong, no one gets that many." I explained first trimester they were monitoring a cyst that was growing and it was complex that I've talked to her about that. And that at 20 weeks they determined baby was too small and they wanted to monitor it's growth. She claimed no one talks to her or tells her anything. My husband told her 3 times about the baby having issues. I just feel I get the brunt of everything.

She then asked if babies growth issues have to do with all my perceptions meds? I was shocked. To blame me for my ill unborn child. I had to explain to be on infertility treatment I had to stop all my treatment for my health. I haven't had any form of medicine. I was not even able to see a chiropractor because our insurance does not cover it any longer. I just was blown away by her accusations.

She has since sent me an apology note for her "know it all" comment. I just am not sure if I want her in the delivery room if she is going to cause me stress. My husband is dead set on her being there. I think she is well intended and this is her first grandbaby and I know she loves it I just am overwhelmed by her and her judgment.

I've had nightmare about her trying to take my baby away. I wake up just sobbing. I feel so bad about my reactions towards her. Makes me less willing to share anything with her.