I can’t believe I’m talking about this out loud

Okay so just about 2 years ago in March I was raped I had just turned 15. I was forced to drink and smoke weed so clearly when it happened I wasn’t fully aware of where I was or who I was with. The man (his name is L in the story) I was with had brought me to see this other guy and he tried to sell me into sex trafficking, it was scary but I knew that if I didn’t stay conscious, that was it for me. But I tried to stay aware of my surroundings as long as I could and I did. I got out of that situation just to be put into another. I then went back to the house with the L and tbh I trusted him and I thought he cared about me. Obviously I was wrong, we went upstairs and he pushed me on the bed and told me things would be ok and that I should trust him. He’s been drinking btw so his breath stunk. He on me and started undressing me, I told him to stop but that got me nowhere he told me to shut up. He then took his pants off and mine and he then entered me. That’s when I screamed and he pushed a pillow into my face so it could muffle my plea for him to stop. I started to cry and pushed him as hard as I could off of me, he flew to the other side of the bed and that’s when I took my chance and ran into the bathroom. I sat there and cried, I couldn’t go home cause I was scared my parents would find out and yell at me (they did get mad but they were supportive to whole roller coaster) so I just sat there thinking how much of a whore I was I stayed at his house that night but I slept on the floor because I was scared. I didn’t know what to do, so I stayed up all night scared he would wake up and try to hurt me again. Then next morning came and he brought me home, I ran upstairs crying. I told my parents what happened. My dad was furious that it happened and he blames himself for not being a good enough father. My mom blames herself for not being a good enough mother. And I blame myself for not being smarter and realizing it was all a game.