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Weaning at 3. This has been a far more emotional and bitter sweet time than I ever could have imagined. In my feelings post, also long. Pics of me and my girl at the bottom

Alicia • Tue, Feb 19 • I have a wonderful husband and 5 incredible children. Living life to the fullest and embracing every aspect of it.

For some time I have been planning to wean my girl from "babboos", which is what she calls nursing. Nearly a year on and it's been rough, each time I've tried in the past she has regressed in potty training or coincidentally has fallen ill. So, each time I've continued nursing without trying too hard to wean. For the past couple of weeks, however, I have been talking to my sweet girl about babboos eventually going away and when she won't need babboos, to which she has always had a reply like, "But, I love babboos." Or, "I need babboos and babboos is so good for me. " Or, simply, "No. I always want to have babboos because I always want babboos. " She is very well-spoken for a 3 year old, also having just turned 3 in January.

She is likely going to be my only body-baby, since I married into a wonderful blended family. My husband having had two children with a previous wife.

My middle child is 6 years older than my littlest one and I wasn't around for the infancy of either of my elder children, so she has had the luxury of lots of one on one mommy time, I stay home with her, and for many reasons we decided that was best for our circumstances. I've taken her everywhere with me, even traveled extensively with her in part due to extended nursing, and she has been a baby for what might seem like a very long time to many.

However, tonight, I could tell that with some encouragement she would be able to go to bed without babboos in the nightly routine. And she did. She contested a small amount, but without distress. And I left her room as she was starting to nod off, as per usual.

This all sounds so perfect and wonderful. But my heart is breaking. I'm so proud of her independent spirit and she is incredibly intelligent and she brings so much joy to all of us.

I just wish I could do it all again. Every moment, no matter how tiring or frustrating, is minuscule in comparison

to the joy of having this incredible human be my daughter and my little dove and my cool kid. And this time, I can tell that babboos is coming to an end. And, it's been an incredible experience. We are so close and I know that our relationship will continue to mature and grow, but I feel as though I'm losing my only baby.

I know it will continue to be great, I mean obviously I still get to be her mom. It's a forever thing, lol. But she isn't my little baby anymore. She's becoming my big girl.

I just needed an outlet for my overwhelming feelings and my husband just doesn't understand. It was nothing short of a miracle that we had our little dove to begin with. And, she has been nothing less than a true blessing to us all, uniting us in a way I didn't know could happen, and she is just so perfectly her. And he has been through the baby graduation (so to speak) a few times lol.

I'm sure a mom or dad out there is going to understand where I'm coming from. And if you read to this point, thank you for being a "listening ear". Any supportive comments are welcomed.