Possibilities?

I'm still processing my 2nd delivery via csection, which was on Feb 13th. I was so optimistic having a vbac but things didn't turn out that way at the end.. I cry of anger and sadness everytime I think about it.. My first born isn't my fiances but the 2nd one is, and I can tell he wants another one in the future but I told myself this was my last kid just bc I had my 2nd csection and thinking about being cut open again terrifies me... Its gone take a while to process just like my first delivery. I would want to risk a vba2c but thats out the chart. I wanted to have atleast one more kid but I'm done.. sorry I felt like venting.