Is it rude to ask the people attending your baby shower to ONLY purchase items that are listed on your baby registry?

Question

This is my second child, so the items on my registry are what we really need. For my first baby shower, only ONE PERSON got me a gift off of my registry — the rest was random clothes/items/toys I’m assuming they picked up a few days prior. I was grateful for everything, but was left having to purchase so many registry items myself after the shower. Is it rude to request that people only come with gifts I’ve specifically asked for this time?

Answer

Unfortunately, nobody is mandated to buy you anything. So if they are kind enough to share something with you, be grateful. Exchange it later if you must.

Answer

In my opinion, the whole point of creating a registry for a shower is to give gifts (of things she needs) to the expectant mother.  It’s one thing to stray from exact clothes or bath stuff or toys , things of that nature if you put that on a registry (I don’t think most registries let you just put a specific amount of onesies, pants, shirts etc, at least mine didn’t). People need to be more considerate to the mom if they choose to give her a gift because by the time you have a shower and then go through all the things people got you, you typically don’t have time to return anything or exchange anything nor does anyone pregnant or with a newborn want or have the time to hassle with that. You took the time and effort and made a registry for a reason and people should stick to it. There are other options if they can’t afford what you have on it or for whatever reason can’t purchase off of it. Get a gift card or give cash. And if they think all of that is too much hassle for them, then they should either just get nothing and come to celebrate with you or not show up at all.  If you’re like me, tell people that what’s on your exact registry is just the items you need but it doesn’t necessarily have to be those exact items or from that same store. (I know a lot people who find the same things at different stores for way cheaper or get bargains online for things that are brand new). I would never require people to bring a gift, but if they feel they need to, you can kindly request the items you have registered for ( I would always include gift cards and cash) and remind them its your second baby and you have saved a lot of things that you just don’t need more of.

Answer

Yes it’s rude. Gifts are chosen by the giver, you should expect to provide the necessities for your baby anyway - especially a second baby

Answer

🤔 I mean I wouldn’t. You can certainly stress that you’d really like things from your registry! But people are buying you gifts to be nice so it’s really up to them what they purchase, whether you use it or not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

I know the gift should be up to the giver but I feel the same way I have what Aria will NEED on my registry because I don't want everyone to go get anything that I won't be able to use. I feel like if you approach it in the right way it wont come off as rude. Registries are meant to be a helpful guide and I think people should understand that. If you're gonna spend money on my child let it be on something she needs.

Answer

I feel ya mama! You make registry based on what you need and the research you’ve done. I really hate when people buy you different products. Like, let me get what I want and need for my baby.

Answer

I did. FTM and I put on the invite the link and asked that if anyone was planning to get something, that it be from our registry. I had no complaints on our end. They are things that we need, and I explained that. 🤷

Answer

Totally get where you’re coming from, which is why I always purchase from the registry, but you can’t tell people what to purchase you as a gift. 
I hate returning items given to me as gifts as well. But I starting thinking of it in a different way. If it was something I was not going to use, that would mean that person wasted their hard earned money. As a gift giver, I’d rather someone exchange my gift, than waste my money.

Answer

No it’s not rude so long as you put things on your registry that can fit everyone’s budget. The cheapest thing on my registry is literally $4, the most expensive is $230 (pack n play). And I seriously would not be offended by the $4 gift because it’s something I’m asking for and need. Yes, I’m grateful for anything we receive, but it’s not unreasonable to say “look guys, I think these are the things we’ll really need”. You can get clothes and things like that yourselves. Not to mention that you end up with a ton of newborn clothes that, guess what? You’ll never get around to putting on the kid anyway! Then what? All those “well meaning gifts” are nothing but waste you’re stuck regifting, passing down, or donating.

Answer

A nice way to get some things you really need is the include on the back on your invitation of thing baby NEEDS* such as what size diapers, size clothing, wipes, burp clothes... etc. it’s a nice way for people to get you something you actually need without having to get them to look at a registry. Some people just don’t like the hassle of trying to find a registry online. I love registries myself so that I know I’m getting something that everyone else isn’t getting duplicates of. I think that asking for gifts that at ONLY on the registry may ruffle some feathers though.

Is it rude to ask the people attending your baby shower to ONLY purchase items that are listed on your baby registry?

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