Disappointed/scared/wannagiveup

My husband and I have been trying for the past 6months to conceive and has the months pass by and I see Aunty flow comes I wish she just fall and break her hips where she can’t not visit this month.sometimes I sit and feel these weird feelings in my tummy or what looks to be implanted bleeding and then on to the next month and the month after that...he’s so supportive “baby it will happen soon than u think”. Am in my late 30’sand this will be my first child I have read so much motivational stores on here but am at a lost and I don’t wanna give up