I feel like my sister hates me and my son.

A little backstory : My sister is 7 years older than me, she’s my only sibling and we primarily was raised by our mom. We have never really gotten along, I just always assumed it was because of the age gap, what angsty teenager isn’t annoyed by their little sister.

Fast forward to now, I’m 20 with a 8 week old and she’s 27 with a 4 year old. She continuously says terrible things about me and my SO to my mom. Saying how my son is such a huge mistake and that my SO is either going to leave me or won’t want to help raise his son anymore. (August will make 6 years of us being together, we have a great relationship and he’s a wonderful dad.) She keeps making up lies about us, to our mom. Whenever my mom comes over to help me with my son/visit, she asks me about what my sister has said, and I have to defend myself and my family and prove the lies she is saying aren’t true.

She likes to comment on my parenting and how I’m raising my son, saying that us having him circumcised is the worse possible thing I could do to him. She, herself, is a terrible mom. She’s a SAMH but her house is not only messy, but dirty. Dishes in a mountain in the sink, dirty pots and pans everywhere, open food bags on the counter. My niece is 4 and isn’t potty trained (they threaten her that she’d be in trouble if she pooped her pants, so now she doesn’t tell them when she has gone, AND when they do try to potty train her, they make her sit on the toilet for hours until she cries.) she has a terrible sleeping schedule, and eats very little food both in quantity and variety.

When my sister gave birth to my niece, my mom and I went up to the hospital and stayed there with her for 36 hours, no sleep by the way. I was in the room holding her leg while my niece was born. Throughout her pregnancy and after birth, I was always texting her to see if they needed anything and ask how she was. I’ve always bought stuff for my niece, because I wanted to, not expecting anything in return.

Now when I was pregnant, she never texted or called, when I did see her in person, she never asked about the baby. I would send her ultrasound pictures and won’t get a response or a simple ❤️. I understood that she couldn’t be there at the hospital with me while I was giving birth since she had to home with her daughter. But when she did show up, her and her husband just sat on the couch in my room on their phones for the hour they were there. My niece was way more interested than my sister, she didn’t even want to hold my son.

I send pictures and ask about her daughter and I only get one word answers or no answer at all, and she never asks about my son. It’s almost like she doesn’t acknowledge my son is even alive.

Long rant short, should I just give up and stop trying to put forth so much effort? Is it a lost cause? I just need advice. Sorry it was so long, it felt good to get my feelings out.