My First Love/Kiss

Okay, so to start I want to thank everyone who’s reading this right now. Thank you for taking time out of your day to try to be understanding and support someone you barely even know. It’s amazing.

Now beginning this sad yet tragic story my name Raegan. I’m a ninth grader and I’m 15 years old currently living in Atlanta, Georgia. I have this best friend I met her in the eighth grade and starting high school we were still very close. Last August after three weeks of school had went by I had met her two cousins. One is in the 11th grade and the other brother is in 10th grade. The one in 11th grade is the one who I fell for because he fell for me first. At least I thought he did. As we kept being around each other because of my best friend who’s house/apartment I go over all the time after school he started to get attracted to me. He would always stare at me and hug me for no reason. He would text me every night and every night and every afternoon. It was crazy. And I didn’t like him like that. One Sunday night he FaceTimed me and we talked until midnight and I got to thinking maybe he isn’t so bad. And that night he found out I never kissed anyone and thought that he would perfect for my first time.

So that weekend was my bestfriend birthday party and it was a pool party and I swear I think that was when I started falling for him but the only thing in my way was my cousin. Who’s freaking 19 years old and he’s 16. Like what the heck? Reminder my cousin is not mentally 19 she acts like a 16 year old herself and the sad thing is that she had her own boyfriend. So them two always talking but she is always messing with his feelings and I felt bad because I actually cared about him and didn’t like to see him frustrated. I would’ve said something but if there is one thing about them they don’t listen and why would they take advice from someone younger than them. Anyway with all this stuff going on with my cousin he was still was my first kiss. It happened about a week before my birthday. And we made out so many times after that.

When him and my cousin stopped talking for a bit and he took it out on me and he didn’t talk to me for like a week then when I went over my friends house he hugged me and apologized and of course like an idiot I forgave him. And we continued to make out which lead to him touching me. My boobs in particular he rlly liked them and I would let him. The sad thing is that I knew he wasn’t serious about me but I let him do it anyway. I cried so many times at night because I wanted him so bad and he never wanted me. He only wanted me for the moment.

Til this day he cut me off again because of my cousin and it hurts to know that our relationship wasn’t important to him as it was to me. If it was he would never let anything come between us. But I’m glad that he’s not really in my life anymore because when he was in it I had no respect for myself and that is so important to have especially for a woman. And I’ve also gained someone special. He came so unexpectedly and when I was so hurt and I hated myself because I thought I wasn’t good enough. I’ve known this boy since sixth grade and I never thought that he felt that way. Anyway we’re taking it slow and I’m just hoping it last and that I never have to feel that way again. If it does happen I’ll be back here again to tell you guys about it.

Thank you so much for attention and please give your thoughts and feedback on it or even share your own stories. I want to be involved in this community. Even if I barley know you I still want to help. And it really helps to talk. Don’t keep your feelings bottled up it’s not good I should know and I’m still working on it. Thanks so much sisters 😘