This is really hard for me to come out and say this but I'm at an absolute loss about what to do about this. I desperately need advice, I feel like I'm going insane.😭 lengthy post alert! my husband of 4.5 hasn't had much of a sex Drive for like the last 4 years and it's gotten to where it's almost non existent. Before marriage, we had amazing sex and could literally last for hours with both of us ending satisfied. Then we got married in 2014, and it's like a freakin switched flipped almost right away, our sex life got to where I was never satisfied and sex was/is like 10 mins from start to finish. Now it's gotten worse in the past year. We have sex 2-3 times a month and it's again 10 mins or less and of course he ends with an orgasm every time 🙄 but mind you, he wants me to go down on him and usually I do have to just to get him up. I don't mind but it does get old sometimes. I miss it when he used to get erections from being around me or foreplay.😏 he never foreplays with me or goes down on me, refuses to go down on me, which isn't a big deal but it would be nice if he'd atleast play with me. Anyways, I'm usually on top when we do have sex, which sometimes I'm in the mood for, but sometimes I just want to be pounded you know? 😢 he like never wants to be on top, and when I tell him I'm horny, he either is "too tired" 🙄 or tells me to do the work. About the only time I get to orgasm or get near satisfied is my freakin birthday, anniversary and sometimes Christmas and Valentine's Day (didn't even have sex this last Christmas or Valentine's Day 😪) anyways I'm very frustrated about this. I've tried talking to him from every angle possible and in the nicest way. I've cried, poured out my heart to him numerous times about it, and nothing, I mean nothing makes a difference. He is 37 so I'm pretty sure a lot has to do with his hormones changing and Ive talked to him several times about getting on a supplement to help his hormone levels or something to help his Drive. He literally ignores me, and either won't respond or tells me to shut up. I just don't get it. 😭 every time I bring up this issue about sex(which isn't very often because he does it every time) he literally tells me to "shut up", I'm "pissing him off" "go take your crying crap in there" he literally shuts me down every time I even began to talk about it, never will hear me out. I'm just at a loss guys. 💔😭 it is so heart breaking. He's a fantastic husband otherwise and father to our son, and is one of the most tender hearted, giving people I know. I even asked him tonight sincerely with tears running down my face, am I really that ugly for him not to ever want to have sex with me, and his response"shut up, go have a pity party in there or something" I feel like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall and not having any luck. This has been going on for a few years as I've said, and right now I'm just lucky to finally be pregnant after 4 years of trying with barely any sex happening and with PCOS. We're both super excited about the new baby coming! Huge blessing! I got pregnant from some crappy birthday sex on December 2. He was on top then, but was not into it at all, he lasted long of course, but it totally affected my mood because he wasn't even there, just going through the motions 😏 and I didn't even orgasm. He usually atleast tries for my birthday, but didn't this year and he absolutely doesn't care and it shows and it sucks. So bad. I've masterubated a few times because I was so desperate but then I could never finish because I get so mad and hurt that I'm even having to do that because my husband doesnt want to have sex or when we do he leaves me hanging all the time. He knows I masterbate sometimes for that reason and he literally don't care, just rolls over and goes to sleep like he is now.. 😡😤 tonight I showered and got ready for sex, but then he was like well if you want to have sex, then you do all the work. I've been on top the last few rare times we've had sex. Last time, he didn't want to do the work ofcourse, just lay there like a bump on the log and enjoys me riding him, well I got him on top last time in my favorite position, doggy style finally by getting him to imagine someone else (don't even get me started on that one 😭) and he literally finished freakin right away! I didn't even get to enjoy it for 2 mins! 😡 he knew I was upset about it and literally laughed because of it and rolled over and went right to sleep 😡 I literalIy can't feel it as good on top like I can other positions and he knows that and doesn't care. Please share your advice if you have any. Like I've said, I've tried suggesting counseling multiple times=refuses to go. I've tried talking to him every nice way possible, pouring my heart out with tears streaming down my face=telling me to shut up, get over it, and before I got pregnant, he would be yelling and cussing me before it was over with, 😪 I've tried spicing things up, ive tried losing weight and getting into shape (I'm not a big person but I know he likes skinny girls that are in shape)=maybe one more 10 min sex session a month. Nothing works... 💔😪😤I love him so much and he's wonderful in every other way but communication and sex issues, and there's nothing I can do about it😢😢 ❗️PLEASE HELP ‼️

Edit: no I don't think he has another woman, he's always home when he's off from work, yes both of our hygiene is good (saw people comment that on a similar post to mine). Another thing is I feel like I can't talk to anyone around me about this. I've casually mentioned the no sex thing to two of my best friends, but I've never went into detail about it. I've always been taught and when we did marriage counseling before marriage, they told us then it is never a good idea to let someone close to you know your marriage problems. So I've kept it in all these years, with my heart breaking even more every time it occurs. That is why I reached out to you ladies on glow, I need to tell someone, ive got to let it out and have a listening ears that won't judge and will try to help out. I know sex isn't everything, but it is an important part in marriage, and so is communication which we obviously have a big problem with. Also it's really embarrassing, I dont want people to know around me. I'm so embarrassed about it. I don't know if it's me, or his hormones or what's going on. I can't figure it out. 😪 I wish he would go with me to counseling or atleast try something but he won't. And also this happens with every marriage issue, I'm not the perfect put together house wife and mom by any means and I try to work on improving everyday, but every time I have an issue with something and actually get the courage to sweetly bring it up(I know coming with an issue yelling doesn't get anyone anywhere so I def don't do that ) this is what happens. Every. Single. Time. "Shut up, your pissing me off" blah blah blah and before pregnancy lots of hurtful things to go along with it.. Never listens or hears me out.😢