So this is my bad luck story that I can't share with friends. I am old hanging on hope.

I have never bn loved by any man for real.men come to me for various reasons. Have bn mistreatment in relationships.so last year I ended my relationship of 3 years after realizing that this man was not going to commit to me. I provided everything to make sure it worked because he invested a lot to his family. He took me for granted. He used to make me take emergency pills all the time and I thought it was OK since we were waiting to get married. Something that I regret so badly.

So i gathered courage and ended that relationship in April last year.in June I met a younger man whom I thought in all manner was different than my ex because right from the beginning he agreed we start trying for a baby.he showed me he cared.he spent time with me.he confessed it was the best relationship so far for him.he had a terrible past with women that I chose to understand because he told me abt it.

He is in school and I'm working,. I provided everything for him..yes everything. Food, shelter, gave him money and bought him clothes and cooked for him. Things were ok up until the end of October last year.He stopped calling me like he used to and being with me.when I ask he gave excuses,. He started questioning why I could not get pregnant all that long.he started coming when he wants and when I'm ovulating and want him he is nowhere to be seen.

So in December last year I had to fake sickness so he would come coz it was my fertile window.. He came and the following day picked all his clothes including the ones I bought for him and left.he told me he doesn't have a wife in me coz I didn't do breakfast for him that morning before he left.I had to remain in bed for some minutes to see whether that helps with conceiving. I thought it was a joke and his things were on the sitting room until I woke up and couldn't find them anywhere. I was hurt.I stopped picking his calls and replying to his texts.

On 28th jan i made a mistake and took clomid hoping that he would come. Sure enough he texted me on 10th Feb and I think I was ovulating then.I was nice to him.he told me how he loved me and blah blah blah and I said the same.I was stuck with clomid in the system. He came we stayed on Sunday, Monday and went on Tuesday.On that Monday night,. He took my phone and claimed he was working with it over night. Didn't have a problem with that..so at ard 3 am he came to bed fully dressed which he never did before. He never touched me unlike him and let me sleep until I was late for work.when I asked him because I wanted to bd that morning, he said nothing and turned the other side.I left him sleeping and went to work.

He woke up did everything,. Ate food.he likes eating in the morning so had everything for him ready when I left.

At ard 11 I called to ask if he was still a sleep and he told me he had already left and when he gets to Town we would talk.today makes it exactly two weeks and he has not gotten to town yet a distance of 10 miles from where I live. I said I wasn't going to call him or text him.at least he shd have told me he left my place and reached where he was going safely but no.he had the gut to eat my food and leave just like that.

So all along have felt he's self centered,.he would have sex with me whether I liked it or not.whether it hurts or didn't. I thought maybe I was alil over analyzing things until when it occured to me that we could only have sex when he wants and when I want have to suppress my feelings... Mmmm.

When we got separated for a month,.he told me he tried someone else and had sex with her.I felt cheated on.it was just a month for crying out loud.

So after carefully looking into things I decided to not call or text to ask what happened because it's obvious he only wants me for sex.

Now ladies I'm a hopeless case,.no one really loved me and at my age I don't think anyone will.have lost hopes of being a mom too.I forgot to tell you clomid almost killed me with pains up until now and I'm bleeding. I also have fibroids.. So what hope do I have?

Thanks for reading and please don't judge me I know my mistakes but I just wanted to be called a mom ..is that too much to ask?wish it really happened this time but noo..maybe it was never meant to be.