I just need to vent at this point.

I'm just over 37 weeks and I'm so tired of working but I don't want to stop either.

I lift kiddos with special needs that are up to 60lbs as needed when they drop to the floor or can't move independently or need help up on to the potty and are scared of the step stool. Doctor verbally told me to try to limit it to no more than 20lbs consistently but more than that occasionally is fine. But what am I supposed to do when a kid is laying in the middle of the hallway during a refusal or with a kid who literally can't move around independently and NEEDS someone to help them to their walker or stroller? She didn't seem willing to write a note for my boss to limit me from that.

Working with this age kids I'm also constantly either on the floor or in super low chairs down to like 4-6" off the floor. They think it's hilarious watching me try to get back up, but they can't recognize the expression of pain on my face as my sciatic nerve pain flairs with every movement.

Since starting my job this school year, I've been exposed to lice, bed bugs, fleas, hospital and community based strains of MRSA, and C. diff.- all this on top of the normal colds, flu, & stomach bugs that go around this time of year. We also have several students who are physically aggressive, one in particular I have to wear kevlar sleeves when I work with due to biting, and another who I can barely be near as he is easily 50+lbs and tried to headbutt my belly among other things. I also already got hit once by another student with a running start with his knee straight into my stomach. Baby was fine, but I still freaked out when she stopped moving.

I feel like such a failure to be complaining about this as last March I sat next to a coworker who had active contractions as she completed paperwork and had a much more complicated pregnancy than mine so far. She made it look so easy. I can't take off early either as we financially don't have saved what we wanted to and I won't be getting paid into the summer anyways as a teacher.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my job and the kids make it so worth the pain, but emotionally it being worth it and being able to physically handle it are 2 very different things. I've cried before when I've gotten in my car and just let my body relax in the seat, and I've not typically been emotional this pregnancy. The doctors all keep downplaying it all though but I'm exhausted each day when I leave work to the point that I can barely move. My family keep saying the stress of this job is going to send me into labor, and I use to think it was bs. But then today, which was particularly rough, I started having what I think may have been back labor and some actual contractions starting. I so badly want to work until I'm actually in labor, but I don't know that I can physically take it and I feel like such a wimp because of it.

I don't know what I'm hoping to get from this post- advice to get through the day? Tell me I'm not the only one? I guess I just needed to get it all out. Am I crazy for thinking at least some of this is unreasonable?

Thank you for sticking with me if you read the whole thing.