So happy right now!

Coming up in a week is my one year anniversary of my suicide attempt, so I just wanted to reflect on here what’s happened since then.

A couple days after the attempt I was crying in the hallway (I had a PTSD flashback) and this guy came up to me and asked me if I was okay. I instantly felt a connection with him because I had only ever been in abusive relationships and I’ve never felt like a guy had cared about me. That moment, I realized how how unhappy I was in my relationship then, and ended it. A couple weeks later, I was on medication for my depression and with the guy from the hallway (we’re still going almost a year strong!!)

I’ve still struggled with my PTSD but my bf has been such a huge help. He’s always so considerate, he spends hours talking to me figuring out my triggers so that he doesn’t accidentally trigger a flashback, and he learns my signs of panic attacks so he can tell before they happen. Never thought a man could be so amazing before I met him!

I still struggle a lot with stress, but it’s so much easier knowing I have him to turn to. He’s also made me so much more confident, I struggled from Anorexia but in the year we’ve been together I’ve gained back ten pounds.

I’ve always read in stories about those relationships where they’re each other’s best friends, and I never thought that was possible until now. When I need someone to gossip with, watch TV with, cry with, complain to, I go to him. I’m so grateful for him, especially since I found out my best friend of 10 years was using me and spilling my secrets to her crush, and now he’s my only real close friend. If I didn’t have him I’d be alone and unhappy, but I’m genuinely happy for the first time in my life!