Am I overreacting?

Question

I had to ask for advice as one of my good friends has booked a date for her wedding at the end of September this year . I’m due to give birth in about 10 days . She messaged me saying she would ask me to be bridesmaid but she knows most normal women don’t snap back to their bodies and didn’t want to put pressure on me as a new Mum so she wants to give me the option as baby will only be 6 months . & she’s come to terms with the fact that I probably wouldn’t be if they had booked it for this year so the option is there if i want to be a day guest . I feel so upset by this as I have put on abit it weight but I’m in no way big and I’ve already felt crap about putting on weight but it’s not like it’s the month after I give birth! Sorry for the long story x

Answer

I think she’s just trying to not put you on the spot to be picture perfect in six months. I think it’s kind. If you are going to be overwhelmed by trying to get back into shape and having a newborn it’s nice to know you have the option to not be a bridesmaid.

Answer

No I think that’s a little rude. Most women don’t snap back right away, but 6 months is plenty of time to give your body time to heal and get back to a new normal.

Answer

I think she was trying to be nice, but it can't out in a bitchy way. Cuz I'd be kinda offended too

Answer

She's rude. Plain rude. You're having a baby. Now who the hell cares if you're slim, curvy, fat, lumpy or what? A proper friend doesn't care, they just want you there. I just hope (for your sake) that your friend has gone wedding- crazy temporarily and comes to her senses.

Answer

I think she is just trying to not put pressure on you, she is not doing it as a bad friend or anything. I think she did good by asking you

Answer

Hmm that’s a weird thing to say. Maybe she was trying to be considerate. It’s kind of her to give you the option and understand that you might be too busy at that time to do it. To make the comment about not snapping back is rude though. She might have been trying to be nice but it is just rude. I think most people would be a little upset and offended by that x

Answer

She probably trying to be nice. But I would of taken it the wrong way to isn’t like your walking around naked and everyone seeing your mummy body. (That’s if you got one) I’m 3months pp and back to my normal size without trying to loose any baby weight came off naturally.. 6months is a long time not like it’s a month..

Answer

Yes, you're overreacting. You said she's a good friend so obviously your relationship has a comfort level where she's able to be open and honest with you. Fine, she might be overthinking but she's taking your feelings into account by not possibly putting extra pressure on you. If you think you'll be fine, then tell just her so.

Answer

I think she’s trying to be kind to give you an ‘out’ and didn’t want to make it about your ability to combine bridesmaids duties with parenting a newborn, but went totally the wrong way about it by addressing your physicality. 
Not sure what the bride is like or expectations where you’re from but she’ll likely want help with lots of details aspects like decorating, catering, hair and makeup etc; and it’s generally on the bridesmaids to organise the hens, bridal shower/kitchen tea, and the prep the morning of (robes, snacks while getting ready, that kind of thing). 
So if you feel like you would be up to those responsibilities and attending appointments and commitments regardless, then go for gold!

Answer

It sounds like she just wants to be respectful to you and not stress you out! Maybe tell her that you'd love to be in the wedding and have a conversation about it, it just sounds like you're both not on the same page. I'm in two weddings the month after baby is due... and I will say that is a little stressful only in that buying the bridesmaid dress beforehand I have no idea what size to get and I'm not really sure how it will work with a newborn. But it's all good - I wouldnt miss the weddings for the world and I'll make it work one way or another :)

Am I overreacting?

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