When I was just a baby 18 year old, I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. I had a massive range of emotions, scared, angry at myself, terrified of the future. I made a Doctor appointment, was indeed pregnant like I thought, and then I started accepting. By the time I was 8 weeks pregnant, I was over the moon and looking forward to being a mom more than anything in the world.

Then I was at work, the morning I turned 8 weeks, a Saturday, and I had a bit of spotting, which then turned into heavy bleeding.

I was crushed. I cried for a month.

This morning I’m 8 weeks and very anxious. I feel like if I can get through today I can calm down quite a bit. I didn’t even make a doctor appointment before this week because I didn’t want that post prenatal appointment high if I was going to lose it again.

Just need to work on my meditation so I can get past that day that happened 16 years ago already.