Hi...don’t try to tell me that you love me or that someone does love me because they don’t. I’ve accepted it already. On to the main thing

I’m 12 years old and nobody cares about me or loves me. I’m an annoyance to whoever I’m around. I’ve always thought this in the back of my head but it’s been confirmed recently. Me and one of my closest ex-friends who I still care and love deeply (That’s a story for another time). We got in a huge fight that was all my fault and she told me that I’m annoying & I genuinely scare her. I love her so much and I believe her. Now that I know that she feels that way I know my other friends are that way. They hate me. I’m toxic. I’m trying to cut myself off from them because I don’t want to upset them but I love them all too much. I don’t know what to do but I don’t want help. I’m scared. I’m sad. Nothing matters. But I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t need your help. Thank you for listening.

Edit: I’m not upset about it. I’ve come to accept that no matter how much you love someone they’ll probably never gonna love you back

Edit: I’m not angry at my ex-bestie. I love her with all my heart and it was my fault for our falling out. I was a burden on her life and I know that. I caused her so much pain stress and anxiety. Please don’t hate her because it’s not her fault.

Edit: I’m trying to seek help for it. Don’t worry. Thank you all so much for being so supportive kind & helpful. It warms my heart to know that there are wonderful people like all of you trying to help others. ❤️

Edit: My friends insist that I’m in not annoying and always try to include me but I can tell they don’t like me and just pity me and don’t want to know that I’m the reason I killed myself if I did. They’re wonderful people and I don’t want anyone thinking they’re bad people.

Edit: I don’t want to kill myself any more. I’m talking to my therapist about it and she’s been a huge help. Thank you all so much for your concerns. If you really want to help me, then please just try to help me cope with it because I don’t think my feelings will go away but I do think I can deal with them or just say you want to dm me and I’ll message you. ❤️❤️