Need some advice and encouragement

Guys, I just got yelled at for being 8 minutes late at work. I have my own car but he refuses to let me drive because I drive too slow ; he takes me to work.. he blames me for him not getting sleep( he cannot sleep already), blames me for him not being able to play his game, he blames me for having to go to sleep, he blames me to why he can never be himself... I am really balling my eyes out crying because he said I never realize how much I annoy him and get on his nerves ... y’all I met this man when I was 18.. he was 19... gave him all of me even my virginity... I’ll be 23 in November... He says I can never tell when he’s in a pissy mood or when his nerves are acting up... guys he talks to me like I’m his worst enemy... I can either cry or act nonchalant all day and there will be holes in the walls.. the police always gets called because we argue that bad.... he keeps cutting me off when I speak he claims to know everything... he won’t even let me leave the roof without standing in front of me.... he blames us for not working since I work in the evening and he works overnight... when I get off we go straight to sleep... when he goes in at 11pm I stay up with him until 2 am or later in this case if he’s tired and his nerves are going haywire... I cannot sleep my stomach is turning I’m just tired of being the main reason as to why he’s enduring a down fall... my family disowned me for being with him, I had a miscarriage at 19 due to the stress my family put me through...(this was before his episodes), stayed by his side when he went through rough patches and I couldn’t even get him to fully support me getting my driver license. I guess if I go ghost for a few hours will he see I’m at a breaking point... no, he doesn’t physically abuse me it’s just the arguing and saying that I’m never paying attention/caring really getting to me because it’s going against my own values... I feel lost in my own head and cannot figure out what I want... I love him to the world and back and he knows I’d do anything for him... I just don’t know what else to do or if I’m the reason for his PTSD getting worse...