Should she be called Grandma, or no?

Question

Looking for honest opinions here. My Father-in-Law is getting re-married this October for the 3rd time to a woman he's only been dating for about 16 months or so (they got engaged shortly after dating for 1 year). We have only spent time with her maybe 5 or 6 times since she and my FIL started dating and both my husband and I feel like we barely know her. I'm very hesitant to allow her to be "grandma" to my daughter because we really don't know her, my FIL does not have a good track record with relationships and they decided to move out of state and will be spending their winters in Arizona. I'm confused because they are getting married so it seems like the right thing to do, but at the same time I barely know this woman and dont want to have to explain to my daughter why suddenly "grandma" is no longer around if something happens between them.

Answer

I wouldn’t call her grandma

Answer

That’s completely your decision but I do see where you’re coming from! I’d be hesitant as well. Maybe try to get to know her and go from there? You’re the parent, use your best judgement!

Answer

We’re in the same situation. My FIL is on wife #3, we aren’t close to her and our baby probably won’t be either. My husband’s grandpa got remarried before he was even born and they’ve always been Pop and Donna to him and his sister, they never called her grandma either. So I’m thinking we’ll just call my FIL Grandpa or whatever he wants and his wife by her given name.

Answer

My dad has been married 4 times, divorce 3. I honestly did not want my daughter to call my third step mom grandma because to me shes not my mother. Shes just my dads 4th wife and my third step mom. I call her my her first name and when I talk about her its always my dads wife. But my dad asked if I could allow her to call her atleast gammy and I did. They been married as long as my husband and I, 8 years, so I allowed it. In your case I would say no. I told my husband if my dad divorce her she would no longer be considered gammy because if she wasnt with my dad she really wouldnt be nothing as bad as that sounds. My dad doesnt have a great record either and I really didnt want my daughter to get attached to someone whos not long in his life. I tell my husband he goes through women like his cars and cell phones lol.

Answer

My Mum has been with her husband for nearly 5 years. He's still Derek to both me and my 3 year old. On the flip side, my partners Dad has been with his fiancé for about 7 years, and we call her Nana M. I left his family name choices up to him, and he left mine up to me.

Answer

My step daughter calls me mommy and calls my parents nana & papa and boy does she loveeeeeee her nana and papa. She’s 3 and my fiancé and I started dating when she was probably like 8 months old. But we’re all way closer and we never forced her or tried to get her to call us this she just started on her own. I say do whatever you feel is comfortable. I never called my grandpas new wife grandma I called her by her name. & when he got another new wife 11 years later I never called her anything because I haven’t met her since he up and left for to a different country 😂

Answer

If it was my situation I wouldn’t call her grandma. If they haven’t brought it up I wouldn’t even bother saying anything until they mention it.

Answer

So my kids have a bunch of grandparents because both my husbands parents and mine are divorced and in relationships with other people. My step father is Pop Pop, my husbands step father is Papa, my husbands dads girlfriend is Nan, but my dads girlfriend does not have a grandparent title, and they have all been in their relationships for many many years. I think it has everything to do with your relationship with that person. My dads girlfriend has been in my life since I was born (family friend, he cheated on my mom with her and has been with her ever since) which is probably the reason she is distant from my family even though they’ve been together for around 30 years. So if you don’t feel comfortable, then make that known, have your child call her “miss (name)” or something similar, and if she eventually earns it, you can give her a grandparent title later down the road

Answer

I wouldn't give her the title if I didn't have an established relationship with her. I would call her by name at first, and then if the relationship grows, she can have a title.

Answer

My grandpa remarried after him and my grandma divorced years before I was born - so his second wife has always been in my life. However, my brother, cousins and I have always just called her by her first name. Not really sure why, but just the way it's always been in my family. I think it's totally up to you.

Should she be called Grandma, or no?

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