Venting...

Hi, guys!

This is a venting post about my baby shower. To be clear from the beginning, I am EXTREMELY grateful for the opportunity to even have a second baby shower. This is not an ungrateful post, this is just to express my feelings.

In 2017 I was pregnant with my first child and had a baby shower with a theme and everything. My side of the family (I’m married) planned pretty much all of it since it was my first child. My MIL was pretty upset that she didn’t get to be a part of the planning even though I didn’t think she would want to because she doesn’t like me. The only people invited to that baby shower were my family, my husbands family and our friends. My MIL decided to invite some of her friends to the shower (without my knowledge) and made it public that she was not happy with the shower or the fact that her friends couldn’t come, etc. and pretty much talked mess to MY family members. I told my husband and he had a talk with her so everything kind of settled down. My baby ended up passing away at 37 weeks and it was a pretty difficult time.

Fast forward to this year, I’m currently 31 weeks pregnant with our rainbow baby. We told our parents and my MIL decided she would be doing everything for the baby shower. Of course we were appreciative since we didn’t think we could afford one due to a car accident making me unable to work. She has planned everything and has only asked for my opinion on the theme, which is fine. The only problem

I have is that since she is hosting it, she is inviting EVERYONE she didn’t get to invite last time. I have a problem with that because I don’t know those people? It’s not my husband’s family, it’s my MIL’s friends. I just feel like it’s not a baby shower to celebrate me and my baby, it’s a celebration of her and her grandchild and I’m just the person carrying the baby.. is that wrong? My husband won’t be there ‘cause Army things, so it’ll just be me, but we had talked the other day because his mother invited women that he’s dated in the past that are “family friends” to our shower without talking to either one of us. One of the women messaged him saying “hey your mom invited me but I think it’s weird.” He had to have a conversation with her to tell her that that’s not okay and that it would upset me, but she claimed she didn’t know it would upset me.

I’m just dreading the shower because it will be full of people I don’t know. I’m only inviting a few of my friends and my immediate family and that’s it. I didn’t want a big shower considering what happened last time. If I do talk to her about it, I don’t want to seem ungrateful because she’s being very generous. Am I overreacting?? Any advice?