Husband doesn’t want me?

Ok well that title is probably a bit dramatic but here is our story. Looking to vent/any advice is appreciated.

My husband and I met in 2010 and have a wonderful loving relationship. He is the best man I know-caring smart funny thoughtful, really everything and more I could have hoped for.

Our intimacy was pretty much average in our early years, with frequent sex and other acts of intimacy. I always felt like I was the more sexually inclined one, but it never felt like an issue.

In 2015 my husband started a residency program and our sex life quickly diminished. Long hours at a stressful job threw him off completely, and understandably. But here we are almost four years later and we haven’t been able to get it back.

This disconnect has been highlighted by our decision to start trying to have a baby about 1 year ago. He has had to use pills to maintain an erection and we haven’t been able to conceive.

We are both otherwise happy, healthy, and loving our life together. However I feel so incredibly exhausted of longing for an intimate relationship. I have tried to tell him that intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex, and I am know he is overwhelmed and embarrassed but the thought of spending my life with someone who cannot be intimate in any way with me is terribly sad and scary. I love him so much but is this fair to either of us? I remain totally attracted to and turned on by him. It was the best sex of my life, and even now when it’s not ideal circumstances (basically we only have sex when I’m ovulating and he takes a pill), I genuinely enjoy him.

I just feel lost and hopeless and don’t know how to approach this situation any more-it feels like the more we talk about it the worse it gets, and I don’t want to contribute to the stress, and I know this is hard for him too, but I just don’t understand why he doesn’t think this is a huge problem and try to figure out how to get this part of our life back on track.