He said he calls me names because...is this true? I feel like I’m falling out of love with him

Let me start off by saying I don’t want to sound like an idiot. But I honestly want to know if this is true? I understand addictions are hard to break (although I have never had one myself). I want to believe him, and I’m proud of him for trying to change...

My boyfriend and I just recently had a baby. Were first time parents. I stay home with the baby, he goes to work. He pays for everything. Except I get a little bit from maternal leave. I do everything around the house and everything for baby...by myself. He does not help me. Except for the ODD day. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I bathe baby, I feed baby, I put baby down for bed, etc. I never have time for myself. I am overly stressed and over worked. Especially because the house becomes a mess every time I clean? I don’t understand it!!! I also suffer from major anxiety, so I do have bad days where I just want to laze around.

My boyfriend comes home and smokes until he goes to bed. With the exception of eating (sometimes we eat together) and the odd time watching baby for me for 10-15 mins so I can do something. But those are rare times, it’s usually him “watching” baby while smoking.

Now I hate weed. I don’t want it around my child. Over the weekend we got into a HUGE fight over this and the fact that I do everything alone. Eventually he came to me and sat me down apologized, said it’s all his fault, and I’m right, and that it’s because he smokes. He threw his bong out and his weed and has now been 4 days sober!!! I’m super proud of him. But now there’s other issues...

He is very snappy with me and just plain rude!!!! Last night for example. We got into a small little argument over the dumbest thing...he was very irritable. He promised me a massage then took it away, which whatever. He wanted me to lay on him and I do a few things before laying on him and then when I went to lay on him he told me he doesn’t want me to because I always do everything else when he asks me to do something apparently? Then he said that whenever he doesn’t massage me I act like this on purpose and do things to piss him off? He called me a cunt, and just was yelling (while baby was sleeping) and said “oh btw, sober me tells the truth!” I honesty can’t remember most of it. I just remember I was crying and upset. He said “thank you so much for helping me quite” sarcastically and how he cant fall asleep now because of me and how he’s going to have to start smoking again because of me.

He tried apologizing and I ignored him, and again this morning he tried apologizing and today has texted me apologizing but I haven’t responded. I’m honestly so upset. I don’t deserve to be treated like this. He told me he is like that because he’s trying to get sober. Is this true?

I honesty feel like I’m falling out of love with him? Which I never told him obviously. But I know he feels it. He constantly tells me he loves me, he’s sorry, asks if I love him, buys me flowers, etc. I never thought I would ever fall out of love with him. Im scared tbh. Do you think I can personally fix this? I don’t want to hurt him. But I find this too much sometimes.