I want to be a mom more than anything, but I don't think I'm going to continue ttc

ashley • My dream of being a mom has been shattered, I`m focusing on being successful and making sure I have a stable future.

I'm 25, my husband and I just got married in June and I planned on ttc. The more I think about it, the more it worries me.

When it comes to bringing home money, and making sure bills get paid, it's all me. I make about 4 dollars an hour more than my husband does. If I get pregnant I will have to take time off of work for multiple reasons. Doctors appointment, when the baby is born, all that jazz. I didn't realize mothers had to go on maturnity leave unpaid. I can't do that. If I don't go to work, our bills would not get paid.

We're hopefully closing on our new house at the end of October, and I'm so worried that if I did continue ttc that when the baby did come, I wouldn't have the money to pay and my house would get taken away. I never want that to happen.

And then, even after I can go back to work, who is going to watch my child?! Both my parents work, as do his. (I don't think I'd ever let his mother watch the baby alone but that's a whole different story)

Mind you, my husband has a 6 yar old son with a other woman, his son was born when he was only 20. So him and his ex had alot of help from family and friends. We're older now, yes we will get alot at the baby shower but not everything and there's no way in hell my parents are going to support me or my family!! The mother of his child still lives with her parents so she has the luxury of living with a babysitter aka grandma and grandpa. I don't have that.

I'm so frustrated, because all I want I'd a child of my own, I want to be a mother. But I honestly don't think I can afford to be one any time soon. 😓 I think my next step is finding a second job and just saving it all in a separate account so we can be a little more prepared.

Does anyone else feel like this? Or g wet scared for these reasons?