Sex? Nope!

Question

Why does my DH refuse to have sex with me, often? I never tell him when I'm fertile, I never mention conceiving.. I just try to arouse him and actually make love to my partner, but he refuses. I'm so upset.. What do I do?

Answer

We had a chat, and he said he didn't realise it was making me feel so low. He is more than happy for me to communicate with him throughout our fertile period and get busy when we can! Haha. His generally not this accepting of my being upset, but bless him.

Answer

I think soooo many more women than we all realize struggle with this. I agree that 2x/week is actually a really good number. This has been a very painful issue for me as well and resulted in many frustrating conversations, but it seems to get better with each one.
​All that to say I understand how sad and frustrating it can be and I will be praying for you and your DH! Everyone just assumes men should want to have sex "all the time" and this just isn't the case for soooo many of us. The stereotype is difficult to deal with too. Upsetting and wreaks havoc on our self-confidence. Hang in there and keep the communication lines open!

Answer

There could be any number of reasons that he's responding that way. You can't really know if you don't have a conversation. Generally I would say it's normal for couples to be more intimate at the beginning of a relationship and then that slows down a bit. 2 times a week is perfectly normal. Probably more than the average couple! I'm pragmatic to a fault regarding conceiving. I am very open, I tell my husband "today my fertile period begins, we have 14% chance today". So he is fully aware and is an active participant. I think he enjoys knowing that. But he was the one that wanted kids first.

Answer

Went through the same, could be stress, plays havoc with their sex drive. Try to keep positive, it's difficult for him too. Good luck!!

Answer

Have you both discussed trying to conceive (at a time that you're not trying to be intimate)? Are you both ready to be parents? Maybe he isn't ready for kids yet or just doesn't have a very high sex drive. Talking through his concerns or feelings in a neutral way while you aren't being intimate is what I would do.

Answer

Had the same issue and it can be very frustrating. We spoke to a counselor regarding it. Also it could simply be his libido so have him see his PCM for help. Also, change the scenery trying things such as a weekend getaway. Good luck!

Sex? Nope!

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