What if?

I’m 38 years old, and my youngest is 19 my oldest will be 21 soon, she has a baby and is pregnant with her 2nd, I joked and said I want to have another, and she said “NO” and “how gross And wired it will be for my kids to have a aunt or uncle around the same age” and it really made me feel a lot of feelings, like 1: I’m a good mom and I still am young enough, 2: I lost both chances to raise my daughters, I gave my oldest up, and my youngest was kidnapped when she was 3 now they are adults and we are all together. I not saying I like going to make one, but what if I do?