Couldn’t go through with it...

Was supposed to do IUI this month, paid up-front and everything. Took my first Clomid tablet and spent the entire next 36 hours in tears, having panic attacks and mental breakdowns. I am prone to anxiety and am obviously under a lot of stress (also recently had emergency surgery and my entire routine has been thrown off, which doesn’t help). So I called it quits- couldn’t bear the thought of continuing on this drug for 4 more days. I now know I’m not cut out for this and feel like a total failure. I’m just not strong enough, and I’m sure my anxiety would only become worse if I did become pregnant (and if I didn’t, it might be just as painful). Maybe not becoming pregnant on my own was God’s way of saying it’s not for me.💔