I’m close to giving up.

I don’t know how many more months I can stay hopeful. Every cycle my body does something different to make me think this is our month. I finally decided to stop grasping for symptoms this cycle and I breezed through the first week after ovulation. Then at 7 dpo I started spotting and for three days I thought “this has to be it”.

Last night AF came. Four days early.

I am so sick of people telling me “it takes a lot of women a year, it’s fine.” Like it’s supposed to make me feel better. It’s so easy to say that when you aren’t eight months in and feeling like you can’t even do the one thing your body is designed to do. I just wish people who don’t know what it’s like would stop chiming in. I don’t know if I can make it until July when my doctor will finally refer us to someone. I don’t know if I can go through this four more times.