So this following Monday i have to go back to court to face my abuser.

I got together with this monster in July of 2017, everything was fine, i remember thanking God for putting him in my life, months pass and he began to be emotionally abusive, weeks pass and he became physically abusive. I'd get punched or kicked for "saying the wrong things" or "looking at him the wrong way".

When finally, on Mothers Day of 2018, i got the courage to end it all- all to nearly lose my entire life doing so. He broke into my apartment the night i broke things off, slammed me to the ground, sat on my chest with his knees over my arms so i couldn't defend myself or even move, and put one hand over my mouth, and used his other hand to pinch my nose shut. I remember thinking "What is my mother going to do without me here." I was seconds from losing consciousness when i SWEAR i heard gods voice telling me, "If you don't fight for your life in the next few seconds- you will not make it out of here alive"

So i fought- i fought so FUCKING hard, managed to bite his thumb almost clear off before he got off of me, i ran to the front door, outside, inches away from banging on my neighbors door, all for him to come up behind me, pick me up, and slam me to the concrete head first, then drug me back in the apartment to continue attempting to kill me. Again- i fought as hard as i could, managed to get out of the apartment again, but this time i RAN ! And next thing i knew my upstairs neighbor pulls me into his apartment, locks the door and calls the police.

I ended up suffering a hematoma in my eye from the pressure of me trying to inhale while having my mouth and nose pinched shut.

After all that ?

He only got on probation for an F3 felony- Strangulation, and we're going back to court because he violated the terms of his sentence.

This man took everything from me, from materialistic items to my idea of self worth.

Y'all please send me all the good vibes in the world, this isn't the first time I've had to stand in front of that judge and plead her to punish this man, after strangling me, they gave him 2 months of jail time, and 3 years probation.

I've faced this same judge twice now, every time i go in I'm shivering in fear, i just want to be strong, and completely Annihilate him in court.

I want him to be so surprised to see how high i hold my head now, and realize that i will no longer let what he did to me affect my day to day life.

Please send me the strength to be strong, confident and powerful in that courtroom.

I pray to god that man gets what he deserves.

I'm in a super healthy, and loving relationship now, and almost 9 weeks pregnant. Still struggle with my PTSD, and i find myself still using my survivor tactics even though there is no need anymore. I guess really what i want, is for him to be so blown away by how i overcame what he did to me. And i want him to pay for every punch, every kick, every harsh word. I hope this is just Karma giving me the opportunity to fully give him a taste of his own medicine.