Weird dread feeling

I had an early mc (6 weeks) in January, and we are continuing to try for baby #3. Trying to stay hopeful this cycle. Was sitting here & kind of reflecting on everything and had a feeling of dread.

What happened in January really sucked. The happy surprise of being pregnant, followed by the uncertainty. The gut feeling that something wasn’t right, followed by the physical evidence. The blood tests to make sure I was pregnant, followed by the blood tests to make sure I wasn’t anymore. The waiting and the worry. And then the awful week where you just wish it was over and you were normal again. Then everything starts over again.

I’ve had 4 mc’s before, but I’ve never had this feeling before. Maybe it’s because now I have to wait another 2 weeks to find out if I have to do this all over again. I really don’t want to go through that again. But I also don’t want to keep getting negatives.

Has anyone else had this feeling? Is this normal? What do you do during the 2 week wait to fill your time and not dwell on the past/future?