He Just Held Me

I’ve been really really sick for 12 days. We ended up sending the kids to my moms this weekend. I couldn’t even hold my head up. It’s the sickest I’ve been in many years.

I have multiple appointments this week for the pregnancy. I’m 31 weeks. I have the dreaded 3 hour tomorrow. And an ultrasound because we need to check some things. And a follow up with my OB on Wednesday. I’m scared. And exhausted from being so sick. I miss my kids. And need to drive three hours round trip to get them home. I was sitting on the bed. And just sobbing.

I have clinics to teach this week. I’ve been down for a solid week. Unable to get out of bed. My ears and throat still hurt. I’ve been worried about the baby. And mortified at failing my first glucose test. I just don’t think I can handle failing the whole thing.

My husband came in. It’s his birthday. We couldn’t even go to dinner. I don’t feel up to it even though my mom still has the kids. He just held me, and I just sobbed. And he prayed that God would protect our baby and calm my nerves and let me pass the three hour. And the ultrasound would show a healthy baby.

He promised me that no matter what he’d do anything to help me get through. And we were in it together. I really just need this all to be over. I know most people feel like the 3 hour isn’t a big deal. Not for me, it’s come around a bunch of other stress. And I’m just struggling to keep it all together.