Idk what to do anymore.

In November me & my bf got into a argument & some hurtful things were said. I most said curse words & he was saying things to literally hurt me & he admitted to that. He brought up his ex who was his first gf and someone he was with for 3-4 years. I brushed it off because I was just like yeah w.e we were both going at it. So I basically let it slide. Come ending if December we got Into another argument & he said the same things to “hurt” me. He said that she treated him better she’s classier than me etc he said a lot and that one did hurt so I broke up with him. He sent me a long paragraph explaining why he did it & how he’s sorry and I told him don’t ever do it again... bitch!🙄🙄New Years he said it again cause we got into another big argument (nov-Jan) has been crazy for us. This time he added more things he said I was his karma for fucking over his ex. He said so much so I broke up with him again we had time apart & came back together. I was really fucked up by what he said it hurt ALOT. but ever since he has never said it again. I was comparing myself to his ex , stalking her social media looking at her pics wondering where I was lacking. I told him that & how I felt so he never did it again and he said he didn’t know it hurt me this bad because I act like such a confident person & he said he doesn’t care about that girl he wants nothing to do with her. They haven’t spoke since we got together which is true & I know they aren’t communicating it’s just the fact he stooped that low to bring up an ex someone he lost his virginity to someone he shared all his experiences with for 3/4 yrs. my bf is 20 btw & we’ve been together for 1 year & a couple of months. I know he loved that girl because a month before meeting me he was trying to get back with her. Knowing all of that made what he said hurt more. I know he loves me now but its just like damn... i bring it up a lot because it hurts but I haven’t brought it up in a while. Sometimes I still find myself looking at her page still comparing myself. Idk what to do. Its like I forgave him but it still hurt. He hasn’t done any actions to show he wants another person but i rlly just can’t believe he tried me like that. It still hurts sometimes... I mostly get emotional about it towards my period. Has anyone gone through this before? Did U ever cut the habit of stalking or comparing to the other girl ? It was almost a everyday thing for me so it’s hard to break out the habit. I don’t want to be her anymore or wish I was her I just look at her pics more like why would he ever try me. & i questioning a little bit I don’t stay stuck on it. We’ve been good now so i dnt rlly wanna tell him how I feel because he hates when I bring it up. He says I stay stuck in the past & dk how to move forward and he feels rlly bad abt it so he gets upset when I talk abt it. But I told him its not like I dnt want to move on because I do sometimes it just hurt because someone that says they love me so much put me in a position to feel terrible about myself (he took my virginity but I’ve had prior bfs) I was sooo insecure over the past few months I’m starting to feel a little better but damn🌚. He admit it was childish and he always says I wish I never said that shit because we were in a horrible place afterwards & he hated how I felt. Ik he’s over her I just still can’t believe he stooped that low making himself look like a trash person. How do you fully get over something like this ??