i got the bad news around november 21st, 2018 that something was wrong with my baby girl when i went to my 20 week ultrasound, i was 18 at the time and it was my first pregnancy, my boyfriend and i were already living together for a while and both of our families were so happy and excited for us! but during the ultrasound the doctor referred us to multiple doctors @ UCSD because he wasn’t sure if what he saw was actually what he thought it was. it was the most devastating news ever. long story short, i had to terminate my baby at 21 weeks because her encephalocele wasn’t just liquid, it had the majority of her brain, and they told us that if she was born she would only be able to breathe, (and that’s even if she would have survived birth), i couldn’t grasp anything that was going on, i couldn’t grasp the fact that i could feel her moving inside of me but when she came out she wouldn’t be able to move. anyways i had to go through surgery and i was asleep during the whole procedure, i was given an option to have my labor induced but i was too scared. everything was happening so fast. i sometimes wonder what she would have looked like, she looked like she had her daddy’s nose. the doctor who performed the procedure told my mom they were waiting for me to wake up, that my baby would not have survived, that it was a really bad encephalocele. i miss my baby girl every single day, sometimes i get weird feelings in my tummy that remind me of what it felt like when she would kick and punch me all the time haha. i feel so empty, my baby was supposed to be here april 8th, i know that day will be one of the worst days ever.