What should I do???

A year and a half ago I had massive depression and anxiety that was so bad I couldn’t leave my room because I swore someone was going to kill me if I stepped outside. I have worked my ass off to pull myself out of hell and I continue to fight every single day. In the worst of it all I made myself a promise that if I got better I would change my life, I would get a better job, I would work my ass off and in three years or so I would put a down payment on a house. I was in my own little world, a bubble of safety as I worked on myself. I was happy, I was content, but as we all know the world has other plans.

A few weeks ago an old flame of mine spontaneously threw himself back into my life. I am happy and thrilled about this but also scared. Having a relationship with him, planning a life with him completely throws my plans off track.

Is it selfish of me to ask him to respect those promises? Can I enter into a relationship with him while planning my own life, while pushing my life in a certain direction and starting one with him later? Does that make me a total bitch? Should I wait to have this relationship because understand that relationships are about moving forward with someone else, but is much is I want to I also cannot give up on this promise so I’m not sure what to do. Please help!!