I fake all my orgasms and I'm not sorry 😥

I feel like I'm a broken girl. I'm 19 and it takes me 45 mins to orgasm by myself, literally feels like a chore so I rarely orgasm. Maybe I'm being selfish cause if I spent more time learning how I work I wouldn't have this problem, but it takes so much time im just tired of it.

My first relationship I never faked anything and it was tough. He felt like he wasn't good enough, he said its okay but I knew it bothered him. He wasn't happy cause he got pleasure by making others feel good.

I dont need to orgasm to feel good.

WHY CANT MEN UNDERSTAND THIS LOL. I masturbate all the time, I love sex, I love foreplay and kissing and I am super horny 😅 it's not my sex drive that's the problem it's my stupid vagina.

So the guy I'm with now I fake all my orgasms. He feels great cause he thinks he's amazing lol (he really is hes experienced and treats me so well in bed I have a great time, but I dont need to cum to have that) and I feel good cause I am 100% satisfied afterwards plus I feel good that hes happy.

I made a poll before about this and everyone said it was wrong to fake them. Well I'm sorry this is one lie I need to have that I think benefits e everyone... and who knows, maybe one day I'll actually cum during sex and guess what, then I'll tell him to do that thing that made me cum more often 😂 but until then I gotta be a liar