Please Help Me Through My Breakup

My now-ex and I had been together 2 years...well almost, this Saturday coming was going to make it 2 years. Which sucks 🤷🏼‍♀️

He and I had been doing long distance for like 3-4 months which was hard. Then between him being away, his headspace was really bad and he’s dropping out of university to join the army and is really lonely where he lives since he knows no one.

For me, I didn’t find the relationship fulfilling. I got no compliments unless we were having sex. He always tried pressuring me into a threesome which made me really insecure. I was doing everything. I spent $80 every weekend to get a bus to see him. 7 hours travel per weekend. I woke up at 5am just to see him race and train and I got nothing.

I know I wasn’t perfect either, I’ve been really focused on university and my new job and socialising with my girlfriends as well as being really insecure and being attention seeking with him.

Last night we went out drinking, this has been brewing for months and with the alcohol everything just went to shit and we fought. Then we decided to just go to mine and talk in the morning.

I woke up to him cuddling me and I immediately broke down. He started crying. We talked for 4 hours about everything and decided out headspace aren’t right and we need to focus on bettering ourselves and maybe things will come back around or maybe not. We were crying the whole time, kissing, telling each other how great the other is. At one point we had sex but I started crying and knew it was wrong so we stopped. Finally we decided to call things off and just go separately.

It’s only been a few hours and I feel like it’s the end of the world. My girlfriends are so supportive and so is my family with this situation and I’m just hoping I’ll get through it faster than what I think.

I’m 18. I just need advice right now. I had never had a boyfriend before.