Upset

I had an abortion a few months ago and I really didn’t want to go through with it but I did. Now two of my cousins have announced they’re expecting ad another one of my cousins just gave birth yesterday. All my family is taking about is all the babies and how excited they are. I’m heart broken. I would’ve been 5.5 months this week. None of my family knows and I don’t ever plan on having them know. My bf doesn’t like to talk about it because that’s his way of dealing with it. Please help me get over these hurdles 😔