I don’t want to do this but I have too

I’ve been on birth control and recently switched and between the switch I somehow got pregnant when I was suppose to be covered. I didn’t know I was pregnant and had been drinking partying and did a euphoria drug. I feel like a horrible person. I want this baby but how can I live with the fact that it can have long life problems because of my actions. My bf is very upset with me because he says the baby could have problems and most likely will. And I kinda want to keep it. Plus We don’t usually party a lot. Which gets me angry that I got pregnant around this time. But maybe he’s right why should I let the baby suffer it’s whole life because I didn’t know I was pregnant and was being reckless. I’m 7 weeks and 5 days. And after this I feel like I’m going to not want to be with him because he’s only supporting me in wanting to get an abortion but not supporting me when I kinda want to keep it. But I don’t want the baby to live a life of struggles because of my decisions.