So I'm in this discord group (online friend group), and one of my best friends introduces her ex from years and years ago. We talk to him, test him, try to scare him off, see if he's ready for the group. He passed the test and stays. Later, its me, my best friend, and the new guy. Let's call my best friend Ella, and the new guy Pitt. So we play a couple games, but then Ella leaves and its just me and Pitt. We talk about life and stuff. The next day everyone in the discord has a skype party, and everyone leaves but me and Pitt, so we keep talking. Fast forward a month of this happening, and Pitt declares he likes me and wants to be my bf. Problems: he's on the other side of the country, and I didn't love him. But he seemed so determined, so I said yes.

Throughout our "relationship", he would degrade himself over text, sometimes going as far as to say he was going to kill himself, as a way to get me to tell him good parts about him, or tell him he's fine, or talk to him in general(at least, that's what I think he was doing). Otherwise, he was mostly sweet and tried to be nice to me and we'd still talk on the phone or on skype about life and the universe.

During nearly the entire time of our relationship, I felt guilty.

I felt like I was using him to be able to say I was in a relationship. I felt like I was just getting his hopes up, and when I met him I wouldn't be able to make him happy because I didn't love him.

But I also felt that if I broke up with him, i'd hurt him even more.

After 3-6 weeks of this(I can't for sure say, its fuzzy), I had to end it. I told him I didn't like him, and it was unhealthy to be in a relationship with someone who can't love you back the way you loved them.

Then he disconnected from the discord.

Fast forward 3 months. I hadn't used any form of screens in 2 months because I'd get horrible migraines. I logged back in to find that Ella had just broken up with her bf, and was telling me to block Pitt. Apparently, Pitt started mocking and insulting her. Ella, with a fragile ego and being deeply emotional, would get upset each time, but they'd make up. However, one comment was especially brutal(no one would tell me what it was, only that it made Ella suicidal) and Ella's bf agreed to it. So I asked Pitt why and he said it was because it was the truth, and if she killed herself its her own fault. So I blocked him.

Now, Ella readded him to the discord 2 weeks ago and all the memories are flooding back.