Recently I discovered my sixteen yr old cousin was pregnant. After suffering an early miscarriage 2 years ago at 6 weeks I haven’t been pregnant since. Me and my partner have been together for eight years. Engaged, and obviously trying for a baby. My cousin was talking to this guy who had no interest in her whatsoever, he cheated multiple times, he abused her and so on. When she found out she was pregnant they had actually stopped talking. He was there for her when he found out and went to the scan with her until she decided she wanted an abortion. Then he became nasty and started posting “murderer” on social media with my cousins name and picture tagged in. She suffers with mental health issues, her dad sexually assaulted her, her mum is to wrapped up in herself on holiday all of the time🙄 but throughout the weeks of the pregnancy my cousin was telling the father of the baby one minute she didn’t want this baby, the next she did. She continued to mess with his head and I told her it was wrong. Very wrong. Social services had even been in contact with her only a few weeks into the pregnancy and told her she may have the baby taken away at birth because of her and her partners mental health issues.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, I FaceTime her everyday she lives up south and I live down north so it’s been hard to support her, especially when I want my own family & I have everything ready and all in place, I’ve never even agreed with abortions unless situations such as rape etc. But something just told me she shouldn’t be having this baby, and it wasn’t the jealousy.. I could control that. It was the fact how she wasn’t ready, her partner is a druggy and a drug dealer who puts himself into hospital every few weeks because he also suffers mental health. His mum is a crackhead without sounding harsh. That’s exactly what she is. They both wasn’t ready and I told her whatever choice she makes I’ll support her 100%. Every time I video called her she would make comments like “I’ve got cramp it’s horrible this baby is a fucking c*nt” or “I just want it out of me” I don’t know if that was just rejection and she was protecting herself or if she did genuinely mean it. It was hard for me to hear her say that because I’d do anything to feel the horrible cramps if it meant having a newborn baby in my arms in 9 months.

Her abortion was all set for this coming Monday. She had her appointment booked etc, last night I was cooking for my boyfriend and brother and she rang me crying saying she was bleeding.. my heart sunk immediately and it just took me back to the day. The bleeding, the pain, the sickness, the feeling numb. I remember it all. I just didn’t know what to say, I asked her to call 999 and she said she did and they said she didn’t need an ambulance?? Which I can’t quite believe because when I rang 999 I was immediately rushed into A&E and was there for 7 hours.

I said to her I’m going to call you an ambulance, and that’s when she shouted at me and said “you’re supposed to be my family, my mum isn’t here nobody is and I’m bleeding i just wanted to talk to you!!” And I have my own life I’m sorry but I’ve supported her through day 1 of this pregnancy, and although I don’t agree with some of her choices I still stuck by her. She ended the call and I messaged her and said please go to the hospital or call 999, her friend ended up taking her to A&E and they did a blood test for pregnancy which shown negative. She showed them the clots and the bleeding and that’s when they confirmed a miscarriage. She has been given co codimal for the pain and been told there is nothing else they can do and she is no longer pregnant.

I’m sad for her, my heart aches in pain as I can feel what she is going through. But I believe god did this for a reason. I’m happy that this happened naturally rather than that poor baby being aborted. As much as a miscarriage fucks with your head and body and makes you so miserable and heartbroken, she will be able to cope a lot better with this than the regret and the guilt of aborting the baby. All I can do now is try and be there for her the best I can like always. I feel like the baby felt her negative energy towards it, and that’s why this has happened. She’s also had a lot of stress. I don’t condone what’s happened but it’ll be easier for her to move on. It’ll take time and it’ll hurt for a while but she’ll heal eventually. I mean what more can you do for a person before hitting self destruct and feeling completely drained with their problems when you have your own without sounding selfish. I hope this doesn’t come across in any way bad to anyone, I’m not good at explaining situations and using the correct words. Even worse I feel bad. Because I’ve missed my period, and I just keep thinking if I am pregnant how will I ever tell her. I wouldn’t be able too. ugh😥