I'm probably an alien

Okay so I was tracking when I ovulate for the last 6 months but I honestly stopped tracking it this month and last month because it was too much work... So March we did the deed a lot cause I was super horny and I know we did it around ovulation time.. so when AF showed up 3 days early I was like this ain't my month I have 5 days first four heavy heavy last day medium light to nun but she only lasted 3 days kinda weird..which I thought was from taking pain meds but that didn't seem to add up I only took 5 shitty cheap dollar store pain relief pills not ib or anything on the first day since I never cramp I had weird bearable cramps but since I don't cramp I wasn't use to it and took the pills but I remember when I did that with ibprofen my period stopped there need day or later that day (I don't take pills anymore thee time I took ibprofen was because AF showed up on my birthday and I read it can help) so the first day was I want to say bright red (it scared me) medium but I had a pad on and it seem like it didn't want to fill up so since I usually use tampons I put one on and went about my day no more cramps so no more pills next day it got lighter and then ended I had no clots or nun easiest period ever mind you my mom calls me on the first day of AF saying she had a dream I was pregnant 😂 so I'm like it's not me well now that's af is gone I had been feeling sick when I wake up and sometimes in the day but it went away this morning I woke up out of my sleep feeling sick but I was like maybe it's like yesterday and it will go away... Nope it intensified and I threw up horrible shit here so other than that my nipps do itch I'm always hungry more than usual like I can be full and all and I'm bloated can't poke my stomach out anymore cause it already is it feels a lil tighter than usual and I get full fast I would love to be preggo but sick of the getting my heart broken thing so I don't believe I am pregnant haven't tested or anything I feel like that was my period and I will get one next month though this was totally different.. so my question is who went through something similar to this and please tell me what it was

PS.. no health issue